adding sass to life

i found my answer

October 7, 2008

I found out today that there is a part of every person’s brain that is just for stress; dealing with it, feeling it, working through it etc.  It just so happens that part is bigger in women’s brains than men’s.  Is that surprising?  Not to me.  It actually makes me feel relieved to know that is why I think the way that I do. 

Today I was in an elevator with a random male stranger and I had to pee really badly.  I pushed the wrong button and we went down instead of up and then the elevator stopped for probably 2.001 seconds and made a really strange noise and I immediately thought, “Oh great.  We are going to get stuck in this elevator and I am going to have to come up with something to talk to this weird guy about, oh my gosh, what if he is some sicko that has fantasies about getting trapped inside an elevator on his way to happy hour at Yard House with a young girl who used to be blonde and now is not.  Great.  I cannot defend myself in this small space.  Oh no.  And I have to pee.  Maybe I can pee on him if he tries anything frisky with me.  But what if he’s a nice guy?  And I have to pee?  Will he be polite enough to not mention anything if I just can’t hold it anymore?”  Yes, I thought all of those things in the 2.001 seconds that the elevator hesitated before going back up to the floor that I needed.

That very large section of my brain may explain this conversation too. 

I was relaxing at the lagoon in Hawaii with Jenielle a few months ago when I asked her, “Do you ever think weird thoughts?”  I think I got a blank stare from her when she responded, “Umm, like what?”  I said, “For example.  You see those paddle boats out there?  What would happen if you were snorkeling and one of the boats drove over you and your hair got wrapped up in the rudder on the bottom of the boat and it drove around the lagoon with you attached without even knowing it.  How would you get out?  How would you let them know you were trapped?  You couldn’t!  You would drown!  And then, the part that is almost worse is when the workers pull in the boat at night and find your limp lifeless body trapped on the bottom of the boat.”  Another blank, slightly disturbed stare from her.  “Hmm.  No.  I don’t have thoughts like that.”

How’s that for stress with a little crazy on the side?


tough night

October 6, 2008

It has been a very hard night.  The Angels lost their playoff game to the Boston Red Sox.  I think some of our sorrow was washed away by the fact that we brought home our new baby tonight.  A MacBook.  

Nate no longer wanted to kill himself after the devastating and embarrassing loss.

He realized that life was worth living after playing with his new toy.  

We got so distracted by the beauty that is this piece of technology that we accidentally put vodka in Callie’s water bowl.  Oops.  

I don’t think she is going to feel so well tomorrow.

Nate is hot.  

And I am hot.

We wanted to see what our kids would look like someday since we are both so hot.  

50% me 50% him.  Hot.

We were so scared of the thought of our children looking like that someday we decided to not have any.  We thought that we would spend the money on plastic surgery for ourselves instead.

Mine didn’t work.


Neither did his.

Oh well.  At least we have each other.

The End.

from blonde to…

October 3, 2008

I have had really long and blonde hair for far too long.  So it was time to chop it.  And darken it.  And spice it up. 

This was my hair a few weeks ago…

This is my hair today…

What do you think?  If you like it, tell me.  If you don’t, keep your mouth shut.  XOXO

12:49am conversation

September 30, 2008

Husband (sitting on the edge of the bed): Where are you?  Where’d you go?

Wife:  Who?  Me?  I’m right here!

Husband:  Not you.  The lady.

Wife:  What lady?

Husband:  The lady.  The lady from the hotel.

Wife:  Umm, what are you talking about?

Husband:  The lady from the hotel.  She had our drinks and then she left.  She was right here.

Wife:  Lay back down and go to bed, there’s no lady here.

Husband:  I know she’s not here.  She was here.  She left with our drinks.

Wife:  You don’t need a drink now, you need to go to bed. 

Husband:  You don’t think I know what I am talking about.  You think I am asleep but I am not.  I know what I am talking about.  The lady was here. 

Wife (kind of freaked out):  Yes, you are asleep, come lay back down and go to bed.

Husband:  Whatever.  I know what I am talking about.  She took our drinks.

*Note to wife: feeding your husband homemade spaghetti sauce, garlic bread and salad will have side effects.  Be prepared for random midnight conversations.*

childish games

September 29, 2008

This weekend, I was opened up and stuffed completely full of football to the point of my seams bursting.  Now, I love my husband dearly and every minute I was watching football we were together, so at least I wasn’t watching it alone.  And I did have an epiphany this weekend too-when it is cold, and rainy and windy I have no problem cuddling up on the couch and sleeping watching football but when it is sunny and beautiful out I feel like a big fat pillow is over my face and I am suffocating, struggling and eventually dying.

On Saturday we went to the Rose Bowl to watch UCLA play Fresno State.   

That was fun even though they lost.  But Sunday was when I hit my breaking point.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  Maybe it was because I enjoy college football more than NFL and there isn’t any college football on on Sundays.  Or maybe it was because I didn’t want to sit in the house.  Or maybe because I was acting like a spoiled brat.  Or maybe…okay, so yes, it’s the latter.  So I went shopping to drown my football sorrows in pumpkin scented candles and gorgeous Italian black leather boots.  But I came home in the same funk.  Here is the conversation that transpired as I was pouting on the couch. 

Nate:  Sweetie, what’s wrong?  Are you mad at me?  Here, I’ll turn off football.

Me:  No, it’s fine.  Watch it.  I don’t care.

Nate:  We have watched a lot of football this weekend.  It has really been a dudes weekend.  What do you want to do tonight? 

Me:  Nothing.

Nate:  No really.  Whatever you want to do.

Me:  I don’t know.  Nothing.

Nate:  Okay, well you let me know.

Me:  I want to play a game.

Nate:  Okay, what game?

Me:  I don’t know.

(I just sound so delightful)

Nate:  Okay, well we have games in the guest room.  Let’s go pick one out.

Me:  I don’t want to play any of those.

(You all didn’t know that we had a 3 1/2 year old living with us)

Nate:  Babe, I am really trying here.

Me:  I want to go to Target and buy a game.  A game like….Monopoly.  I don’t know how to play that game, but it sounds fun.  Let’s go buy it.

So my lovely husband took me to Target and we bought Monopoly. 

We played.  Had fun.  I took all of his money and won.  That’s my kind of night.  I love you, Husband.

it’s eating me alive

September 26, 2008

When we were in Peru almost our entire team got sick.  We are talking, puking, diarrhea, chills, fever, need to call the local doctor to come to hotel and give major medicine, kind of sick.  But what do you expect when you do construction in 110 degree weather, are totally dehydrated and then are given a big plate of fried chicken (like the whole chicken) with the skin and some feathers still remaining, fried bananas, french fries, beans and rice.  Luckily, I only had diarrhea and the chills for about 36 hours. 


I think I brought something home with me besides 3 Free People tops for $3 each. 

I think I have a parasite.

I mean, what else would explain the fact that I have excruciating pain that starts in my chest and slowly grasps my innards with its steal hands until it hurts so badly that I am bent over and groaning in pain as I make my way as quickly and gracefully as I can to the bathroom?  How much can you really go to the bathroom if you aren’t even eating anything?  A lot, I guess.  I have no appetite, I can’t sleep because my stomach is constantly screaming in pain and I feel feverish.  It could be the flu but it sounds just so much more exciting to say that it is a parasite. 

what to say

September 25, 2008

I’ve been back from Peru for 38 hours now and I have sat down to write several times but I feel like I am just not quite ready to put everything down in words that I experienced.  Even more than that, I really don’t even know what to say.   

How do you put into words the way it makes you feel when people you have never met wait for 7 hours just to greet you at the airport?

How do you describe in even paragraphs the love and responsibility of a grandmother who takes in her 6 grown children and 15 grandchildren into her one bedroom home? 

How do you respond when a family whose annual salary is $130 yet, they buy 2 liters of Coke and give it to you happily when you enter their home?

What are you supposed to feel when teenage girls where the same clothes every day for a week and then shower you with jewelry they hand made for you?

What do you say when you watch your husband practicing his Spanish for hours with the locals just so he can communicate with them for the week he is there?

How do you respond when a woman is so touched by you and what you have to share that she just holds your hand and cries?

How can you communicate the feeling you get when you see a village of people saying goodbye to you at the airport with their tear stained faces pressed against the glass windows as your plane takes off?

I still don’t know.

we are off

September 12, 2008

I have been a major blogger slacker this week and for that I am sorry.  I have been torn in a lot of directions with work, our upcoming trip to Peru, emotions and mandatory medications to prevent malaria and typhoid, major diarrhea and anything else that sounds less than pleasant. 

Anyways, Nate and I will be on a plane at 2:12am to go to Peru and will be back in a week and a half.

Pray for us (translation pray for Jamye that she doesn’t have a panic attack on the plane and try to jump out of the emergency exit).

i want that

September 8, 2008

You know those people who just know what they are supposed to do in life and who they are supposed to be and they just do it?  They never question it, they just know. 

Like my friend who knew that she wanted to be a teacher since she was 5 and all she ever wanted to do when we were little was “play school” and now she has her credentials and is a teacher.  Or my friend that knew from the time she was in 3rd grade that she wanted to work with the mentally challenged-that is what she does today. 

I am envious of those people.  Truly happy for them, but jealous in the same breath.

Every day I see babies.  I want to be a stay at home mom some day.

Every day I see the hurting.  I want to be involved in their healing process.

Every day I think about the people making life changing decisions alone, having nobody to turn to.  I want to be their listening ear.

Every day I see people who don’t care about how much money they make, they just do what they do because they love it.  I want to be like that.

Every day I feel I witness people who are doing what they have been created to do.  I want to do that. 

And yet, here I sit, at a job that I don’t love, that does not impact or change lives and really means nothing.  I could be replaced tomorrow.  Sometimes I wish I would be.  

My passion for people, healing, and restoration is not being accomplished in what I am doing. 

So why do it do it?

I ask myself that every day.

crazy crazy minds

September 4, 2008

My mind is one crazy thing.  If I am at all stressed or on any sort of medication if I had anything to drink alcoholic or non, eaten too early or too late…basically if I have lived the day before I have the craziest most whacked out dreams and the just seem so darn real that I will wake up in the morning and wonder if it really was or not. 

Last night I took some cold medicine and look at what happened.

I was at a wedding at a huge church in Laguna Beach that also had a fancy ice cream parlor on the stage.  However, this was a costume wedding and I was not made aware of that, so I was not allowed to participate in the festivities.  My friends were all dressed as Indians.  For some reason, I wasn’t offended that I was uninvited to the party so I wandered down the the rocky cliffs in Laguna and told my friends to meet me down there when they were finished.  I found a nice rock over looking the beautiful ocean and laid down on my stomach under an umbrella with my ice cream but my dress kept hiking up and showing my booty so I decided to sit up when a lady asked, “Excuse me, is this rock taken?”  I turned my head to tell the woman that she could sit there and guess who it was?  Of all people, Oprah was standing there asking me if she could sit on the rock next to me!  She brought her umbrella and ice cream and plopped down and started chatting with me and told me that she liked my dress.  We talked for hours, watched the sunset, had dinner delivered there, and became like bffs (best friends forever, people, come on).   

My friends never came and met me after the wedding, boy will they regret that.